If you tell a 14 year old to start working with a mentor, expect a negative reaction.
As they emerge from the chrysalis of childhood, 14 year old’s want to be responsible for what they do themselves. They want to work towards the future with their peers.
They do not want to engage with an authority figure of YOUR choice. Friendships are never more important than in the vital mid teenage years.
If you think kids would benefit from having a mentor, you need to:
- match the kid to the right mentor program, then
- help those kids to be clear and enthusiastic about wanting a mentor.
Sport Coaches
The idea of having a coach, rather than a mentor, might be more familiar to kids.
The coach and the team are all working towards a single purpose.
Students who play sport could tell you that their coach:
- has superior knowledge in their field
- suggests ways that they can improve
- will offer words of encouragement
- sets clear boundaries
- can be trusted
- helps them to set clear goals
What motivates the coach?
Kids know WHY the coach is there, it could be their love of the game, maybe their kids play in the team, maybe they played for the team at one stage.
Kids don’t know WHY a mentor is there.
They will be asking:
- why would a total stranger would want to get to know me?
- what is the payoff for this stranger?
- what is the purpose of the relationship?
- is it safe?
When they are clear about all these things, then they need to learn that the mentor:
- will be working with them towards an agreed purpose
- has superior knowledge in their field
- suggests ways that they can improve
- will offer words of encouragement
- sets clear boundaries
- can be trusted
- helps them to set clear goals
How are mentors different?
If you want a one on one approach to help you to identify and achieve goals, a designated mentor could be your answer. A mentor will provide guidance and support, just to you.
Establishing trusted one on one relationships is more difficult with a mentor than with a coach as part of a team. You will need to work harder to establish a relationship with a mentor.
There are lots of mentor services in Perth. Many have a specific focus.
I will build on this map as people let me know about more mentoring services in WA.
You can choose different mentors for different purposes.
Finally
No-one seems to be focusing on the significant long term impacts of COVID that middle school students experienced just as they were leaving the comfort of childhood.
I hope that by providing an environment, rich in ideas and opportunities, middle school students will be able to progress through a scaffolded approach to adulthood. It will take conscious and deliberate effort to engage…. if they are to arrive as confused, disoriented and bewildered as the rest of us.
Addendum
In the Boredom Breakers blog which I wrote last week, I provide a range of opportunities that young people could choose to explore as they move along the long path from childhood to adulthood . All of those suggestions have a leader who will be a bit like a sport coach.
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