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What matters to you? the Resilience Project

Having the ability to bounce back when you have been knocked down. That’s what people mean when they tell you to be more resilient.

Bounce back toy

A better solution would be that people stop knocking you down, give you a hand to learn, support you so you don’t feel knocked down.

I try to stay away from places where I might get knocked down. This has been a bit tricky as a Dockers’ supporter. I could easily despair, or give up on them.

AFL grand final: Hawthorn makes up for 2012 loss with 15-point win over  Fremantle at MCG - ABC News (Australian Broadcasting Corporation)
Dockers despair

I have learned not to expect too much from the Dockers. I cheer them on, and to feel joy every time we do have a win. We lose more often, and I bounce by back thinking of ways that they could improve next week, next season, when Fyfe is back in form, when the other team gives us a chance to win!!

Supporting my team when it is down matters to me. It is more important to be a loyal Dockers fan than deserting them for a team that wins more often.

Knowing that my loyalty matters to me helps me to be more resilient when we lose. I have learned how to bounce back after losing without falling into the depths of despair.

On the other hand, if I love or even trust someone, and they aren’t loyal to me, that kills me. My ability to bounce back takes a real battering.

Ten pin bowling strike.

Whenever I get upset I can usually check to see which of my values is being attacked. I don’t think I bounce back any quicker, but at least I understand what the real matter is and avoid that person or that situation in the future.

There are lots of online values clarification tests. You can check out this one. It is okay, but I would try a few different ones to get a clear picture of what really matters to you.

Knowing what matters to you most will help you to set your radar so that you can avoid getting knocked down, and maybe bounce back just by knowing what the hell just happened.

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